Dear Perfect Mom,

I enjoyed our conversation in the parent pick up line at school.  I apologize for the lack of make-up, messy-bun, and the toddler hanging from my leg.  It seems adult conversation causes an allergic reaction in my young son resulting in spasms, screams and other disruptive behavior.  And no, he does not have turrets.  He just likes to make that sound… over and over again.

You, on the other hand, were well put together as usual.  I commend you on the hand-made ‘Thank You’ card mailed to my daughter last week.  She enjoyed your daughter’s birthday party and has yet to stop talking about the pony rides, homemade icecream and hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries.  Your daughter looked radiant that day, as she does everyday.  With her clothing perfectly matched, her hair perfectly done and even her front teeth perfectly missing.

Thank you for setting the standard so high for us moms.  Though I try, I don’t think I will likely achieve the level of motherhood you have attained.  I’m still trying to figure out how to keep up with my laundry.  So, rather than wear myself out trying… I raise my chipped, fingerprint covered, fresh-from-the-dishwasher-I’ve-yet-to-run glass to you and take solace in the hope that somewhere in your perfect abode there’s a messy closet.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Reality

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