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Posts Tagged "confessions"

Confessions of a Kids Pastor

Posted by on May 13, 2015 in My Life

As a pastor I confess that my job can get in the way of my family.  It’s an ongoing challenge to ensure my family comes before my ministry.  There are moments I do that well… and moments I do not.

Last week I had a moment that I did not.

Though numbers are not the focus, we certainly track attendance as a barometer to help us determine the success/effectiveness of an event.  With goals set, we chase those ‘carrots’ all year long with the best intentions.  One such goal is to maintain strong attendance in our discipleship program from August to May.

Why do you need to know this?  Setting the stage, I guess.

Last week was the first week of school.  Josie started the 1st grade.  She was puh-umped.

All day school… Lunch in the cafeteria… more nervous energy than she knew what to do with.

It was also the first day of KONNECT.  (KONNECT is our kids discipleship program.) Now that Josie is 6 years old, she gets to participate in KONNECT.  Again, she was puh-umped.

After picking the kids up from school, we ran some errands, horked down grabbed some dinner and headed off to church.  Josie was borderline psychotic clearly tired by the time we arrived at church.  She’d had a few melt-downs since leaving school.  I debated on the wisdom of sending her to church and thus being up 2 hours past her bedtime.  I envisioned the following morning and the probability of outbursts that register on the Richter scale.

Despite the wisdom of just keeping her home and allowing her opportunity to rest, I took her to church.

Why?

Numbers.

If she wasn’t there, it would count against our numbers.

Like I said, sometimes I do a good job of putting my family first… and then there are moments like these. 

(Cue music as she is crowned ‘Mother of the Year’)

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Confessions of a Mom No. 585

Posted by on Mar 1, 2010 in My Life

I hate public meltdowns.

In the two weeks we’ve lived in Knoxville two of my three kids have suffered from chronic morning meltdowns.  It seems no matter the routine, something provokes a complete loss of sanity.  Anything from sock seams to pigtails to cereal… these kids are easily provoked.

Though I know much of it is stress from our recent move, it’s still not. fun.

It’s one thing for the meltdown to take place inside my home.  It’s a “whole-nutha’ Oprah” when it takes place in the parking of our apartment…. or the school drop-off lane… or Wal-Mart.

It seems the public meltdown is far more stressful.  It’s all the stress of a meltdown… with an audience to boot.

For those that think me the perfect mom, all I have to say is, “Whatev!”  So. not. perfect.

Maybe perfectly broken.

I hate the meltdowns.  but I work through them.

I hate the audience.  but I can’t help that.

I love the brokenness.  only b/c I know that within that is a God with Strength greater than my own.

Give a parent some grace… public meltdowns are a reality.  Share the love, not the judgment.

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Confessions of a Mom: The Shiny Red Folder

Posted by on Feb 17, 2010 in My Life

It was his first day of daycare.  He had a great time.

Blocks

Fingerpaints

Storybooks

Snacks

As we left his teacher pointed out his folder.

A shiny, red folder.

Shiny

Red

Gleaming

Inside the folder held his work for the day and a note from his teacher.

He didn’t care what was inside.  He only cared about the folder.  He wanted to take the folder home with him.

But the folder is supposed to remain.  He didn’t like that.

And he made sure everyone in the building knew of his disagreement.  Everyone.

The next day the first thing he checked upon entering his classroom was his shiny red folder.  There it sat.

Shiny

Red

We talked about how the folder was here waiting for him.  And how it will stay here again when he leaves.  We agreed that we will take the papers within home with us, but the folder will sleep here again.  In his classroom.  He consented.

Departure was a breeze that afternoon.  He exited the building with a broad smile on his face.

Clutching his shiny red folder.

Dangling from mom’s back pocket hangs a white flag of surrender.

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The Firestarter

Posted by on Jan 25, 2010 in My Life

There’s a story I’ve heard all my life about how my big brother single-handedly saved me from a fire.

At 3 years old he woke up from his nap to the smell of something strange. He discovered the KFC bucket sitting on the stove was engulfed in flames. Racing back to my room, he pulled me out of my bed and ran out of the house dragging me behind. Our mother was in the front yard talking to the neighbor when she heard he toddler son yelling, “Fire! Fire! The house is on Fire!”

When the fire was out and the chaos cleared the damage was minimal. But it made for a great story in the aftermath. And parents love to tell stories.

Visiting my grandparents last Saturday I realized that after 15 years of marriage Kyle had never heard this tale of my brother’s heroism. So I asked my mom to share. Only this time I heard a detail I don’t recall ever hearing before. Maybe it’s selective hearing… maybe it’s selective memory… I don’t know. It’s a detail I managed to overlook all these years.

I was the one that started the fire.

Isn’t that sobering.

We had a stove top with knobs on the front. Within reach of any toddler. Back in the 70’s they didn’t have Safety 1st knob covers to prevent kids from turning them. There were 4 knobs begging to be turned. And so I did.

Who knew the KFC bucket on the burner could be so flammable.

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Confessions of a Young Mom #583

Posted by on Jan 14, 2010 in My Life

I woke up this morning with a sense of sober fear.  As a children’s pastor I spend much of my mental energy thinking of opportunities and creative ways to equip parents for the journey of teaching their kids how to love & serve Jesus.

But this morning all I could think about is that my oldest is 10 years old.

To many of my readers this might seem like a small thing.  I’m clearly a young mom.  I never define myself otherwise.  But the truth is… the clock is ticking.  I’ve got less time with him before he moves out of my house.  The season where my influence is greater than the influence of his friends is coming to an end fast.

The last 10 years of my life have gone fast.  The pace of the next 10  years will be no different.

Yet as I write this post there is a sense of excitement and hope.  He’s 10 years old.  He can understand things his younger siblings cannot.  He can chew on spiritual truths and internalize them on a deeper level.  That’s exciting to me.

Sometimes I watch him as he processes things like why a homeless man would choose to spend money on alcohol instead of a place to stay.  Why a country would make Christianity illegal.  How a kid on the other side of the country could enjoy life in a home with dirt floors, no toilet and livestock walking around.

I want to have more of these conversations.  I’m praying for more of these interactions.

As a ministry leader I confess that I’ve had my share of moments where the ministry has superseded my role as mom.  Many opportunities for time with my son were lost due to ministry demands or just plain fatigue.  I’ve not done this perfectly.

But my hope is in the Author of great relationships.  And my prayer for the next 10 years is that He would keep my eyes focused on the opportunities ahead.  That I would maximize those opportunities and continue to foster a relationship with my son that is a source of refuge, encouragement, guidance & love.

I want him to love & serve Jesus with more passion than I ever thought possible.

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