Dan Scott started a great conversation here about phrases to quit using in kids ministry.  Kenny Conley comments in that conversation about the process we go through as Christ followers.  Here is what Kenny writes.

…I’ve become a lot more comfortable with the idea that becoming a Christ Follower for many people isn’t an alter call experience, but a process. I’ve talked to too many people who can’t tell you when they became a Christ Follower because it was more of a process for them... I’ve had parents get frustrated when their kids “asked Jesus in their heart” and they’d already done it before… Could it be that this is a process? Kids may have made a heart decision, but their mind still hasn’t caught up (they don’t completely comprehend)…

I’ve talked to many parents with teens that have ‘grown up’ in church.  They stand before me confused because their daughter made a mistake and is now pregnant.  Mom/dad look at me and say,

“She accepted Jesus when she was 6, she never missed a Sunday, we volunteered every Wednesday night… now my 16 yr old is pregnant.  What happened?”

Are we offering a checklist?  Are we giving them hoops to jump through?

Don’t miss church.

Bring your kids to our events.

Do this bible study.

Pray this prayer.

We forget sometimes that mom/dad want to do this thing right.  If we throw a perceived ‘recipe for success’ out there, are we inviting parents to assume that following the recipe will produce the perfect child? Or at least a child with no MAJOR issues like teen pregnancy, social drinking, or addiction to 80′s hair band music.

I question our approach often.  I work to explain to mom/dad that choosing Christ is a series of discoveries and decisions.  It begins with discovering what He did for us and why.  Then continues with decisions… the everyday, ordinary decision of choosing what He says is best verses what we think is best.

Is anyone else (parent or Children’s pastor) wrestling this down?

We recently celebrated Baptisms at LifeChurch.tv.  My passion centers around equipping parents for the long haul, so I lean toward providing ‘tools’ for them rather than just doing it myself.  I love the idea of mom/dad having a rich God-conversation on the playground… like baptism.  If I can give them the right questions to ask along with the right responses to look for, they can make a determination regarding their child’s readiness for these milestones.

The last baptism weekend was touching when a dad approached me right before his daughter’s baptism.  He said,

Three weeks ago my 8 year old asked about salvation.  I was able to go to LifeKIDS.tv, find information about salvation, have a great conversation with my little girl then lead her through a prayer to ask Jesus into her life.  Last week she wanted to know about baptism.  Again, I went to LifeKIDS.tv and found information about baptism.  Today I’m baptizing my daughter because she wants everyone to know what God has done.  I want you to know what you have done.  You empowered me to have conversations with my daughter I never thought I could have.  Thank you

That was amazing.  And he has no idea how much that meant to hear.

I need to learn more…

As a parent, what additional tools can your kids ministry leaders put in your hands?

As a ministry leader, what tools do you offer your parents?

Parenting Skill #1 is…

Imagine the End

Deuteronomy 6:4 says, “…Love God, your God, with your whole heart; love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! “

Society teaches us the goal of parenting is to produce a well-rounded child.  But scripture teaches us our goal is to raise a child that loves Jesus with everything they have.  In kids ministry, it’s important we help parents to imagine their child at 18, 19, 20 years old then ask the question…  “What is your goal?”

Moses told the Israelites then later Jesus repeats it to the teachers of the law…

Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, mind and strength.

Of all the things we want for our kids, teaching them to love God with all they should be our single-minded focus.  All else will fall into place.